4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
