You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
