Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she peed on how many people?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize