OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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