i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
