hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
