1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
