to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
