Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
