I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
