My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
