my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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