we're blogging at a bar
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
