When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
