Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
