ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
