Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
