Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
