We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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