You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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