Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
