what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
