Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my shit smells like andre
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
