A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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