i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
