He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
