My brain says no but my pants say off.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
