I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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