Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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