Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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