i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
