I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
