I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
