Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
