I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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