how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
