Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
