in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize