Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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