I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
