ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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