It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize