She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
