Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
