He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
this hospital has no fireball
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
