So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
