I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
