Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
