I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
