If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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