I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
