to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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