who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
