did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
