you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize