I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
