when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
