i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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