So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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