wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
