i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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