Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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