dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
