9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
